At the Vortex of Sobriety

It was the 4th of July and fireworks were going off non-stop all over the city on an evening in America when many celebrate freedom.  I was in Los Angeles visiting a friend and I had the opportunity to go to two AA meetings with him as his guest.  Two meetings back to back, the second one at a place called the Vortex in a concrete jungle of an area, not hospitable to any life forms that I could detect: no trees, birds or bees, not a dog, a squirrel, or a cat to be seen. 

But inside the warehouse size space I sat in a small circle with a group of six who were alive in ways I had not expected. Never having been to an AA meeting before this evening, I expected it to be sad and depressing. Instead I felt inspired and touched on a deep level by the profound honesty of these people to be real with one another. Each person, so beautiful as individuals and in their willingness to be present with each other in an effort to stay sober another day.   One man was asked to be the speaker at this meeting, I was thoroughly impressed by the articulate, yet humble, way he spoke about his former life- starting each day with alcohol and substance abuse- prior to his current sobriety. He said, "I have been sober for three years and I am still not well."   I could hardly hold back my emotions, maybe I should not have tried. Since then, I have realized many of my own issues, fears, insecurities might be helped if I had a support group as well.   The whole experience left me feeling that everyone needs a group like AA.  I have rarely, if ever, heard anyone so free of self-deceit about the self-destructive behavior of their life decisions than in those two meetings.

Since I have returned home, I have thought a lot about the organization, how it started, how it works, how it has survived, the camaraderie, the support, the steps, the sponsors, but mostly the honesty.  Gut wrenching on many levels and so human.  At the first meeting that night, a couple (they are engaged to be married) spoke about their personal emotional sobriety. Two alcoholics, each sober for a few years, sitting across from one another, talking face to face about getting clear with their own feelings. It was powerful to witness. 

In the city of angels, tremendous booms from the fireworks rippled through the airwaves for hours that evening after sunset, the most warlike sounds I have ever heard in one place at one time.  Admittedly, July 4th is not my favorite holiday, but this one I will not forget. I will hold the memory of these stories, the struggle to be free of addictions.  For you my old friend: may you live to celebrate liberation, release, deliverance, independence day in sobriety next year, one day at a time!